Why the ref just won't believe you
I took the high road, I asked the coordinator to just pick a field, any field, because I wanted to ref one particular team too much, the one where a guy was complaining two weeks after the game. I knew I could be fair, but I wanted to see if he'd still complain about it, four weeks after the actual event. Him being a coach, I suspected he would.But I was good, and I got the games on the other side of the dome; the first one opened with a planned blow-out. Apparently each team in the "B" division gets one game against an "A" team, although because of the way the league structures their table (they lump both the A and B divisions in a single group), they may not know it; it turned out to be the shooting gallery that everyone who knew the match-up thought it would be. The good news is that the losing side didn't get overly frustrated. There was one guy who started crossing the line, but given the skill and speed gap, I wanted to see if he just needed to get a little bit out, and if the other team could easily avoid him, and it turned out yes on both counts; I was afraid that if I called a foul on a minor frustration move that was a foul, but still in the edges of being called trivial, that I might frustrate the guy further, the "Why the hell are they getting protection?" mentality that can just lead to worse things. It worked, they still managed a couple of goals, and everyone got though the game in reasonable shape, mentally and physically.
The second game was a top quarter-of-the-table team versus the cellar-dweller, and they had a good clean hard game that ended in a four-four tie. I had one card early in the game for a reckless challenge, not quite totally from behind, but enough where the guy who got the card didn't moan; I had a couple extra seconds, as they had an advantage situation, and I waited until the ball was out-of-play. The game went very smoothly from then on.
The third was great - two teams tied for first. The game was very fast, very well played, and featured a come-from-behind win with the final, go-ahead goal, coming in the final three minutes. Not too many fouls, certainly no complaints, aside from a couple (one for each side) of line calls that each team thought should have gone the other way. But here's the thing, after the goal, a player from the losing side gets all riled up about a guy putting his elbows up all game long; I do some yelling, his teammates get him out of the way, and because I have to turn around back toward the pack (I much prefer to exit the field immediately after the game rather than become an object for an easy cheap-shot), he says that I missed the aforementioned elbows all game long.
OK, here's a hint kiddies: if a guy is doing anything illegal "all game long", the wrong time to tell the referee is after the final whistle. I thought that this would be self-evident, but apparently it's not. It leads us referees to believe that, hmmmmm, you just lost a game that you were ahead of for 80% of, could you be trying to blame the referee instead of your own play?
Nyaaaaaa. Players would never do that. Would they?
Sarcasm aside, it is a pretty good assumption that if a referee is missing something repeatedly, he's going to continue to, and it is a good idea to let him or her know, so that you can see if the referee is actually seeing it, and if so, stress (nicely!) that you would prefer that it be stopped. Case-in-point: in the first game, one of the teams was subbing out on the goal-lines in their on-the-fly substitutions, but their replacements were coming in at center giving them an unfair advantage. I normally don't watch substitutions, if someone asks before the game, I usually say it's an honor system and there's usually very little time for me to keep track of subs, especially when they're allowed on-the-fly like in this league. So, after telling the player I would watch it (and reminding her that it would be difficult), lo and behold, I did notice the substitution pattern, and delayed the next restart to ask the bench to sub in-and-out from their bench area (and throwing them a bone saying that during a dead ball, they could exit the field wherever they liked). Problem solved, nobody is unhappy.
Oh, and after that final game, I watch the player from two (and four) weeks ago complaining to the referee again. Apparently she missed a hand or elbow to the face. When she said straight out that she missed it, that should be the end of the conversation; I mean, what else can you add to that? You can't rewind time, and even if you could, you can't backtrack to a call after the restart's been taken. It you want a last word, it should be, even if you want to be rude, something like, "Please be more observant of that next time." But no, he has to go on-and-on-and-on about it. Eventually the referee just said, OK I'm done, and just broke off that one-way "conversation." We talked afterwards, and we both agreed that, because of the way he plays, and how he tends to exaggerate contact to himself (while playing like a freight train when it comes to contact with others - he knocked a goalkeeper unconscious last year), that it might not have happened at all. His reputation has preceded him. I hope he doesn't teach that to the kids he coaches, but that would just involve me being cynical again.